“It was such a pleasure to work with Jess on our event. She was one of the most gracious and generous speakers we’ve ever worked with.”

— Mariah Flynn, Burlington Partnership for a Healthy Community

Jess speaks to parents, educators, school administrators, coaches, pastors, and community leaders about the science of learning, motivation, engagement, and substance abuse prevention, all in service to the belief that adults have the power to help kids become more autonomous, competent, connected, and fulfilled. Her first book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed was a New York Times bestseller and has empowered so many to strengthen home-school partnerships, support kids as they learn from their mistakes, and forge stronger, more trusting relationships with children. Her second book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence is the culmination of Lahey’s experience as an alcoholic with a decade of recovery, the parent of two kids, and twenty years in the classroom teaching English, Latin, and writing in every grade from six to twelve and five of those years were spent teaching in an inpatient drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents. She recently won the Research Society on Alcohol’s Media Award, “designed to recognize outstanding journalistic efforts of writers who cover empirical research on alcohol.”

For more information on types of talks Jess offers, click here.

Upcoming Events

September 24: Davidson Day School, NC
September 25: Charlotte Preparatory School, NC (private)
September 26: Duke University Medical School, NC (private)
October 4: Middlebury College/Vermont Department of Health, VT (private)
October 8: North Yarmouth Academy, ME
October 17-18: Stevenson School, CA
October 28: Project Resilience, Ridgefield, CT
October 29-November 2: World Early Development (WED) Forum, Abu Dhabi, UAE
November 6: Center for Domestic Violence and BH Care, CT
November 20: Glenbard Parent Series conversation with Nic Sheff (virtual)
December 5: Parents Coalition of Bay Area High Schools (virtual)

2025

January 6-7: Episcopal High School, VA
January 15: Pentucket School District, MA
January 21: Lake Tahoe School, CA
January 29: Davis Parent Association, CA

Inquire about a speaking engagement

Download Speaking Bibliography

List of Past Events

Testimonials

“I cannot begin to overstate how powerful and timely her message was for our community. Since her talk, dozens of parents have approached me noting that Jessica was the “best speaker the school has ever had,” or “is there a way we could have her speak on an annual basis?” Having hosted many major national speakers during the last few years, I can say without equivocation that this praise is spot on. Jessica is personable, incredibly easy to work with, and relates beautifully to a wide ranging audience. We were blessed to have her speak to our community, and I would highly recommend her!”

— John Boyer, Director of Development, Oak Hill School

“The very best speakers don’t lecture. They draw you in, through personal stories, the stories of others, points in history, relevant research, and connect with you on many levels. Jessica achieved this and more, by reaching us as youth development professionals, parents, educators, members of our communities, aunts, siblings, etc. Jessica provided great insight into the psyche of anxious parents, pressured children, and beleaguered teachers, paired with language and triggers we can use to help describe the “off-transcript” learning experience we know as camp. Jessica managed to have a conversation with us – no easy task with 1000+ people in the room - and helped us successfully kick off our national conference.”

— Chief Program Officer, American Camp Association

“Jessica gets middle school! At our recent parent event, Jessica did a wonderful job of connecting the realities of parenting a middle school child with the larger topic of resilience. The audience left with both specific strategies to try at home as well as a framework for understanding the true needs of adolescents. As a parent and an educator, I was impressed and grateful.”

— Adrew Davis, Head of Middle School, Crystal Springs Uplands School

“You guys don’t help me since you went to that stupid talk!”

— David Saibel's 8 year-old, Marin, California

“It was a perfect evening. Jessica’s talk was engaging and spot-on, and the kind of thought-provoking content with which we are hoping to engage our parent and teacher audience. She was generous with her time both before and after the talk, answering questions for folks. She made it a special night for all!”

— Neil Gordon, CEO, Discovery Museums

“Jessica Lahey delivered a captivating keynote talk at LearnFest about the importance of intrinsic motivation and its connection to student success. Jessica is an energetic storyteller who delivers powerful advice for teaching and raising resilient children. Her humorous delivery coupled with her experience as a classroom teacher delighted a diverse audience of teachers and parents.”

— Tracie Catlett, Assistant Head of School for Academic Affairs, Louisville Collegiate School

“Jessica spoke to a rapt audience of parents and teachers from our school as well as from the surrounding community. She explained pertinent research in clear and easily understood terms, and dispensed guidance and advice in a supportive and friendly manner. Everyone left with at least one new skill to apply in their classrooms or around the dinner table at homework time. Jessica’s anecdotes about her own experiences as a mother and teacher were not only entertaining; they made us feel that we were benefiting from the wisdom of a trusted friend. I highly recommend her for your school community, and am looking forward to reading her book!”

— Matthew Bradley, Head of School, East Woods School

“Jessica presented to both the parent community at Severn School as well as the Middle School and Upper School students. The information she presented to parents was spot-on and very well received. Her discussion on the differences between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation was a great foundation in which to understand ways parents could support their children to become more independent. She had a very nice way of giving parents ‘permission’ and reasons grounded in research to ‘back off’ as their children learn and grow with new responsibilities. Jessica is a speaker who is very relatable and connects easily with her audiences! We were honored to have her speak to our community this fall!”

— Karin Mitchell, Lower School counselor, Severn School

“Jessica’s presentation focused on teaching children the intrinsic value of resilience, perseverance and learning from a growth-oriented mindset. In essence, how to foster and promote their success within a supportive framework that discourages parents from over scheduling and hovering. It was a good reminder to us all that it’s okay for a child to experience small and reasonable failures. It’s all about “the getting up” when you’re knocked down. Jess is very articulate and persuasive and she was a joy to work with. I highly recommend her.”

— Linda Holden-Bryant, former PA president, Hackley School

Community Reads

The Gift of Failure can change the way an entire community approaches learning, competence, and school-home relationships. Jessica Lahey offers teachers and administrators ways to communicate a message of autonomy and competence to parents, gives parents practical advice for how to step back and allow kids more opportunities to fail, rebound, and become more resilient, and helps students take ownership of their lives and develop growth mindset around learning.

Many schools and organizations are opting to use The Gift of Failure as a "community read," which means the school or organization announces a community-wide book selection, partners with a local, independent book store, so when Jess arrives for her scheduled talk and signing, the audience is familiar with the ideas and research she references in her presentation.

For information on setting up a community read and book talk with Jessica, contact Laura Obermann of American Program Bureau at 617-614-1657 or lobermann@apbspeakers.com.

Contact:

Jessica is represented by Laura Obermann of American Program Bureau. Give Laura a call at 617-614-1657 or email lobermann@apbspeakers.com to get the ball rolling!